November 2025
"There is no prescription for finding moments of gratitude in every day; there is simply the choice." -Gillan Deacon
Hi, friend!
Thanks for spending this time with me.
On a whim, I put a potato in the candy bowl for trick-or-treat this year, and no kidding, it was scooped up with the first group of kids. In all, I’d estimate we had about 40 trick-or-treaters, and I gave away 5 potatoes. (!)I don’t recall exactly where I first learned of this offbeat trend, but I know we still lived in Tennessee because I remember thinking, “No, everyone around here already thinks we’re weird enough.”
That’s not the case anymore.
I had this exact exchange multiple times on trick-or-treat night:
Child: Why is there a potato in the bowl?
Me: Because that’s a choice that’s available to you.
Child: So I can take the potato?
Me: You can take the potato.
Child, inevitably, to someone else: I got a potato!
I posted about it on my social media, and…
…a friend tells me: I’d never heard of this trend before seeing your post, then my son came home with a potato that night!
…a friend comments: We did this last year, and we gave away 25 potatoes before we gave away 25 ring pops!
…a friend texts: They’re covering the ‘potato trick or treat’ trend on national news tonight!
Moments of connection. I live for them.
A Story
A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to take a train down to Chicago for a day/night to meet up with my pal, Amy Peele (hi, Amy!). She was in town from the West Coast, and since I’m helping her launch her fifth book (coming in February!), which takes place in Chicago, we met for a day of riding around town, visiting and snapping pics at most of the major settings in Amy’s book.
We started with brunch at Lou Mitchell’s (established in 1923! I am telling you the truth when I say that our hostess was 97 years old! She’d had a thriving 40+ year career at the restaurant, and somehow still comes in on the weekends to help seat people! Amazing!), then went to City Hall, finally making our way to watch a Brewers/Cubs playoff game at Murphy’s Bleachers across from Wrigley Field (the game was blessedly happening in Milwaukee). It was a great day, but the fun wasn’t over yet.
That evening, we got gussied up and attended a 70th birthday party…in a funeral parlor. <checks that one off the list>
The birthday girl is a longtime friend of Amy’s, and the funeral parlor (Rago Brothers, which I’ve recently learned was Chicago’s first!) just so happens to be the opening setting of Amy’s book. (When worlds collide!)
Amy brought an Advanced Reader Copy of her book to gift to Louis Rago, the third-generation owner who helped during her research phase, so when we first arrived, we spent some time visiting with Mr. Rago in his back office, and then we all got down to the business of birthday partying. The food spread was amazing, the party favors were whimsical, the bar was open, and there was an Elvis impersonator there with his DJ wife.
The idea was karaoke, but the crowd wasn’t biting, so the music was playing, and every so often, Elvis would take the stage and belt out an Elvis song.
The music was a delight, for real. Lots of fun oldies that we all knew the words to, and organically, in our little clusters of conversation, many little groups started singing along.
Elvis approached me. “You should get up there and sing! I can see that you know all the words to all these songs, and you’re singing anyway!”
I responded, “I don’t want to get up in front of everyone with a microphone in my hand, I’d rather we project the words onto the wall so we can all sing. I want to have a big group sing-a-long!”
Elvis chuckled and walked away. Fair. He’s a karaoke Elvis, not a camp counselor.
But my words had been spoken, and the Universe listens.
On Sunday morning, I took the train back home, and on Monday morning, I had a haircut.
I no sooner sit in the chair than my hair lady says to me, “Have you seen clips of those sing-a-long brunches women are doing these days? I want to put something like that together so badly that it’s all I can think about. Would you be interested?”
Y’all, you could have blown me over with a feather.
I had not seen any clips but obviously said yes immediately, and then told her about my conversation with Elvis. We geeked out together about the serendipity, and she told me she’d already reached out to a DJ she knows from high school who has agreed to bring the idea to life after hunting season (lol, so Wisconsin), which means the planning wheels will begin rolling in early December.
Who knows if/when this brunch will actually debut, but you can bet your bottom dollar I’ll be doing everything in my power to be there. (And if you’re local to me, I might just try to drag you along - consider yourself warned!)
Moral of the story: Ask for what you want.
The Life of a Showgirl
Let’s talk Taylor.
*rubs hands together in glee*
I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, and I know I’m probably not considered an objective judge at this point, but as far as I’m concerned, Tay Tay has put out another A+ album. Talk about sing-a-long vibes, my goodness. And dance beats, and fun key changes, and bangin’ lyrics, and lots of moments for big emotions to shine.
A few brief thoughts, song by song, if you’ll indulge me:
The Fate of Ophelia Taylor loves her some Shakespeare, especially when she’s rewriting the endings. Here we have Hamlet referenced, in which Ophelia was gaslit and manipulated by the men in her life, leading to a fate of madness and subsequent death. According to this song, Travis metaphorically saved Taylor from a similar romantic trajectory. You could say he changed the prophecy. Perfect lead song, perfect lead single, perfect music video!
Elizabeth Taylor This song is bee-you-tee-full, especially the acoustic version. These lyrics, bridges, and hooks float through my mind with ease, and I love how easy it is to bring the drama with this one. A favorite line I want on a t-shirt: “They say I’m bad news, I just say thanks…”
Opalite Well, hello, new life anthem! What a total bop, and CHOCK FULL of little pearls of wisdom: “This is just a storm inside a teacup…this is just a temporary speedbump, but failure brings you freedom…it’s alright, you were dancing through the lightening strikes, sleepless in the onyx night, but now the sky is opalite…” I especially love in the acoustic version when she does a word switch and instead of “Life is a song,” she sings, “Love is a song, it ends when it ends, you move on…”
Father Figure This song makes me feel powerful, and the clean version does NOT pack the same punch. Almost every Taylor album has a song that I can imagine scream-singing lyrics in someone’s face, and on this album, this is that song. You want a fight, you found it/I got the place surrounded
Eldest Daughter Song 5, according to Taylor herself, is always an emotional, vulnerable offering (think White Horse, Dear John, All Too Well, The Archer, my tears richocet, So Long, London), and while some don’t think this song belongs in this spot, as an eldest daughter, I do. I was bemused by this song title when it was announced, and while it took a moment for the song to land for me, now I freaking love it. Favorite verse (possibly of the whole album?):
“We lie back
a beautiful beautiful time lapse
of Ferris Wheels, kisses, and lilacs
and things I said were dumb
’cause I thought that I’d never find that
beautiful beautiful life that
shimmers that innocent light back
like when we were young…”
Ruin the Friendship: I cried on the first listen, when I realized the story it told, and then it seemed like the outlier on the album, but now I see how it fits - even showgirls have hometowns. This song is likely about Jeff Lang, one of Taylor’s high school pals who passed some time ago now. (Other Jeff Lang songs: You Belong With Me, Forever Winter, ‘Tis the Damn Season, You’re On Your Own, Kid). I did have to laugh during her song explanation video when she said something about this one like, “I used to write about high school all the time but I haven’t written about it in a while,” and I immediately thought to myself, “Girl, there was literally a song called ‘So High School’ on your last album…”) Anyway, I can see Tennessee perfectly when I hear this one.
Actually Romantic A clap back song for Charlie XCX (who, full disclosure, I only learned about because of this song lol. I know about potato trends but I don’t know about British pop stars). The idea here is that if you are so focused on spending your one wild and precious life loudly hating or actively trying to drag me, you must be really, really into me, and that’s actually really sweet, that you’d spend all that time (time that you cannot get back) on little ol’ me.
Wi$h Li$t Instant favorite, still my #1. I think it’s dreamy, and the acoustic version slays me in the best possible way. I sing this all the time - in my head, out loud, directly to James (“They want that freedom, living off the grid/ They want those three dogs that they call their kids”)
Wood This song is playful. It starts out real cute, referencing all kinds of superstitions, and then it takes a bit of a saucy turn and ends up being about Travis Kelce’s (apparently rather impressive) manhood. (“Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see, his love was the key, that opened my thighs”) Ahem. There is a clean version about opening one’s skies, and in either case, it’s easy to bop along to this one.
CANCELLED! Another fast favorite of mine. Such a vibe. “Good thing I like my friends cancelled, I like ‘em cloaked in Gucci and in scandal…” An anthem for fierce loyalty, a commentary on public backlash, and a killer beat. I can’t wait to see a choreographed dance number to this on a stage someday. This song has endurance, imho.
Honey Flipping a script, re-writing a narrative, going to laugh in the places you used to cry…that’s the overall theme here, and I am here for it. This one is sweet, healing, and invokes the kind of deep relief that comes with hard-earned emotional safety.
The Life of a Showgirl (feat. Sabrina Carpenter) Taylor says it’s a fictional story about a character she created, but there are theories that it’s about Britney Spears, and that tracks. In any case, it’s a brilliant finale to the album, especially the outro, which is live footage from the end of the final Eras Tour show. Chokes me up every time.
I know I have at least a handful of fellow Swifties out there, so tell me, have you listened? Do you have favorites? Do you have skips? Have you heard the acoustic versions yet? I’m always down to talk Taylor, so hit me up.
🍁 Friendly Reminder: How You Speak to Yourself Matters
This month, practice tuning in to your self-talk. Notice when your words, spoken or in thought, tilt toward pressure, judgment, or comparison. Work on building the pattern of a gentle redirect toward grace and encouragement. Speak to yourself the way you would to someone you love and respect: with tenderness, truth, and belief in their best. Each time you do, you’re strengthening the muscle of self-compassion and creating a home within yourself that feels like a safe place to be.
November Notes
🧡Guiding Thought: Keep it 100 on the land, the sea, the sky
🩵Top Goal: Allowing everything I experience to grant me health, wealth, and/or wisdom
💚Looking Forward to: a birthday trip to New York City! It’s that “James has a business trip so I’ll tag along later and we’ll make a long weekend out of it” formula we like so much, and it includes a little NYC Me Time while he attends to said business, during which I am taking myself to see The Rockettes Christmas Spectacular! I have my pal Susan to thank for the inspiration (thanks, Susan!); she mentioned she’d be doing the same during her own upcoming trip to NYC, and it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. Plus, with it being Showgirl season in the Swiftieverse, it just feels right.
💜Reading, Recently:
📖The Thursday Night Murder Club, by Richard Osman
📖The Man Who Died Twice, by Richard Osman
📖The Bullet That Missed, by Richard Osman (I’m into the series, what can I say?)
📖Between Two Kingdoms: A Memoir of a Life Interrupted, by Suleika Jaouad I read this for my online book club, and am looking forward to the Author Meet in December. I liked the book, mostly because it describes a uniquely singular experience that I was able to learn about through her writing.
🩷Watching, Lately:
Dancing With the Stars (Hulu) Okay, look. This is the first season I’ve ever tuned into this show, and I’m so hooked it’s dumb. For yearrrrrrs, my pal Alicia and I would get together to cook dinner and watch So You Think You Can Dance on television, (back when the only way to watch a television program was to actually watch a television) but the celebrity premise of DWTS annoyed me. Until now. This year, I recognized enough names to pique my interest, and now suddenly I have favorites (Whitney/Mark, Alix/Val, Robert/Witney). I could do without the cloud of online drama the show seems to invite, but there is something so soothing to me about watching excellently choreographed dance numbers, ngl.
Hart of Dixie (Amazon Prime) Didn’t see this one coming! My mom suggested it to me (hi Mom!), and while our television tastes don’t often overlap, this one is hitting all the right notes for me. It’s almost like a southern Gilmore Girls-esque vibe, and there are four meaty seasons. My mom said she missed the characters when she finished the show, and as someone who is currently on Season One, Episode 21, I already see what she means.
Baseball. So much baseball.
🩷Listening, Lots:
Podcasts: Handsome (hosted by Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin, a trifecta of hilarious); Good Hang with Amy Poehler (speaking of hilarious); Wiser Than Me with Julia Louis-Dreyfus; Get Ready With God (hosted by Julie Taylor)
Returning to Myself (Brandi Carlile) I used to loooove Brandi, but then I got a little burned out on Brandi, so it isn’t as easy to get excited about her stuff, but I did give this a once-over on opening weekend, and I liked it more than I thought I would! I’ll circle back around to it once my Showgirl high tapers off a bit.
Wyatt Flores music - he’s not from here, but he has this one song called “Milwaukee” that would have been my entire personality if it’d been around in the late 90’s. 😂
❤️I Have This Friend Who:
is launching an online friend-loss support community called The Friends Missing Friends Collective. Hannah, a certified grief educator, was actually a beta reader for my book, and I’ve been a guest on her Friends Missing Friends podcast twice, once in Episode 5, talking about My Best Friend, Katie, and again in Episode 66, when we chatted about Grieving a Friend Who Betrayed You. Her new friend-loss community will include virtual grief groups, 1:1 support, a Discord to chat with other friend-loss grievers, and more. She’s giving the founding members a lifetime price of $12/month, so if you or anyone you know needs grief support around the loss of a friend, this is definitely a compassionate and safe place to look for it.
In this month of focused gratitude and counting one’s blessings, darling, you are on my list.
Take care of you.
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